Do you know why you want to adopt?

There are various reasons why people choose to adopt.

• Some couples build their families through adoption because of infertility.
• Others would like to become adoptive parents because they love children and are able to provide a loving forever home for them.
• There are also couples who already have biological children and choose to adopt because they wish to have a bigger family, thereafter becoming a blended family with children through birth and adoption.
• Others hear of the needs of waiting children and hope to make a difference in their lives by providing love and care.
• No matter what reason you may have, the most important one is that you are sure that you want to become PARENTS. 

Have you and your spouse ever thought of the following before you make your decision to adopt?

Am I (are we) ready to be parents?

• How do I (we) see my (our) marriage?
• What is my (our) lifestyle like now? How do I (we) see it if it is being interrupted?
• Do I (we) need a lot of privacy and own space?
• How much sleep do I (we) need?
• How is my (our) health condition? Am I (are we) physically and mentally ready to take care of the to-be-adopted child?
• Have we planned who will be taking care of the child? What is the division of labor at home?
• Are we financially ready to support a new member? If one of us has to quit the job, how will the financial situation look like?
• If there are children at home, are we ready to become parents again and know how to divide our time for each individual child?

If I (we) experience infertility, stillbirth, or miscarriage(s), have we already grieved and appropriately dealt with the loss of this experience?

• Has this experience affected our marriage? In what way?
• Has this experience affected the way how I (we) see myself (ourselves) being qualified to be parents?
• Has this experience affected the relationships I (we) have with others (relatives, friends, colleagues, etc.)? (No difference, become closer or farther)
• Am I (are we) not willing to hang out with pregnant women? If so, why?
• Do I (we) feel uncomfortable when people talk about child delivery process?
• How do I (we) perceive it if asked and required to talk about my (our) previous experience of infertility, stillbirth or miscarriage(s)?

Can I (we) fully accept a child with no blood ties?

• How do I (we) see the arrangement that we have to make the decision to accept a child or not before we meet the child in person?
• How do I (we) view the importance of education? What expectation do I (we) have about the child in this?
• Do I (we) have a dreamed child in mind? What expectations do I (we) have about the child (including academic performance, moral values, life values, religious values, etc.)? What if the child did not meet my (our) expectations?
• What are my (our) worries of not knowing the complete health and birth background of the child?
• Can I (we) accept any the risks and unknowns involved in adoption?
• Do I (we) commit to the child lifelong, despite who s/he will become in the future?
• Can I (we) embrace the child wholly, including anything about his/her birth family?

How do I (we) or people around me (us) view adoption/to-be-adopted child?

• Do I (we) see adoption a last resort, and a second-best choice?
• Shall I (we) be afraid of others knowing that the child was adopted?
• Shall I (we) be afraid of others asking me (us) about our adoption?
• Am I (are we) ready to talk about adoption and his/her birthparents with the to-be-adopted child?
• Do my (our) families support our decision to adopt?
• What expectation do I (we) have about how much our families should accept the-to-be adopted child?
• How does my (our) view towards adoption affect our attitude and way of parenting (high expectation about the child, spoiling of the child, being overprotective, satisfy the child through financial and material means)?
• If there are children at home already, what are their views towards having a new sibling? Am I (are we) ready to answer any questions they may have about adoption?
• Are we at the same pace and ready to start our adoption journey together?

How do I (we) face the possible stress involved in adoption process?

• Am I (are we) ready to talk about the previous unhappy and traumatic experiences that are being brought up during the adoption process?
• Am I (are we) ready to accept the entire adoption process, including working with different people and systems, being assessed, no definite timeline in terms of waiting?
• How do I (we) see the relationship between me (us) and the child during the placement period while we are not yet the child’s legal parents?
• Am I (are we) ready and able to accept the possibility that the wait will be long? Or even there will be no match after a long period of time?

If you're interested in knowing more about adoption, please call us at (852)2537-2285.

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